This is part two of an exclusive interview with Shelley Marshall.
By Brenda Whitehall
At 37, the mother of two spotted a newspaper ad for an improv comedy class. The journey had begun, leading to work with Second City, Yuk Yuk’s, acting roles, and winning Best New Discovery for stand-up.
Inspired by the comedy sketches of Carol Burnett, Shelley Marshall decided to take the fascinating anecdotes she had been sharing for years and turn them into a play.
“When I wrote my play, I did it in isolation at a cottage on the lake. It was a perfect place to have no influence except nature and elements to provoke thought. I wrote the whole play in a weekend.”
Hold Mommy’s Cigarette is such an emotionally charged rollercoaster that audience members often line up for hours after the show to debrief with Marshall and share their personal stories. It can be a heavy burden for Marshall’s 5’6” frame to carry, but she’s found a healthy balance between
self-care and her sincere desire to help others.
“I had to learn very quickly to get my energy back because onstage you’re giving it. It’s sucking the life out of you… My goal was just to stay alive. Just to stay alive for my kids and get out of this [depression] and I did it. I’m doing it still, though. It’s not like I’m healed. I have my down days for sure, my dark days. But when I feel that, I’m making a cup of tea and watching a black and white movie, and just toning down the world a little bit.”
Being a mother brings Marshall tremendous joy. MonkeyBiz asked Marshall what aspects of her mother’s parenting skills did she carry into her own, and which ones did she consciously choose to break the cycle?
“That’s a great question. I brought the magic my mother created in her mania. She was a manic-depressive, un-medicated. So, there were times I would come home and she would be dressed like a Chinese woman. There would be a full spread of Chinese food that she made all day, and the cans would be all over the counter. She would speak with a Chinese accent and we would just play. And that would be the night.
“Other times, I would come home and you knew not to go into the bedroom. You just stayed away. I was hospitalized from a physical attack at four. She was very, very abusive and she would just lose her mind. I remember when she would beat me, crying out, ‘I love you, Mommy! I love you!’ and then afterwards, she would have bruises on her hands from attacking us so hard. And kissing her hands – because a child knows – I knew she was in pain and there was something wrong with her. I knew that. I didn’t think, ‘oh my God, she’s so horrible.’ She was sick! And afterwards, she had to live with that guilt.
“I would never, never do that to my children… So, I took her magic of being theatrical and playful and I have given that gift to my children. I gave away – what did I give away? I guess I internalized her rage. I must have. Maybe that’s where the rage went that she taught me, it went internally. And that’s essentially why I did what I did. It was awful to live that way for so long.
“I’ve done a lot of therapy, a lot of work, a lot of writing, a lot of coming to terms… I have bouts and moments and I cycle. I can see it. I can feel it. But I nurture it now. I take really good care of myself, and [choose] who I spend time with. I have never fallen into a depression like that again.”
Now 48, Marshall is part of an exciting movement of savvy businesswomen supporting and promoting women entertainers. One of her passions is producing and hosting the Full Bawdy Comedy Show, featuring a “who’s who” of singers, comics, burlesque dancers and acrobats.
“It’s a celebration of the woman’s spirit, mind and body. My burlesque dancer, she’s got curves, and she’s a trained ballerina and yet she’s funny. It’s not self-deprecating, we celebrate who we are.”
Having interviewed many female comics, including Ellen DeGeneres, they all shared a common frustration of public pressure to always be “on”, always be funny.
“I would have to agree with that, absolutely. You do have to be on, if you’re marketing yourself. When I walked into the Hamilton Music Awards, I’m in full Shelley Marshall mode, which is I’m gonna make everybody laugh whether I trip over a cord or I see someone and respond a certain way. I am in character of how I play onstage.”
Marshall, who has a secret addiction to sunflower seeds (“it’s when I do my thinking”), says if she hadn’t become an entertainer, she’d be a junior kindergarten teacher. “Watching children’s joy as they discover creating art, there is nothing more enjoyable for me. I love children… I believe we have to have people in our lives who nurture us and show us the way and give us the little signals and the gifts, or we wouldn’t survive.”
Currently, Marshall is in talks to expand Hold Mommy’s Cigarette into a feature film. She also plans to tour the play across Canada.
“I’m joyful. This is a beautiful world we live in, if we look at it that way. We have a choice to wake up and go, ‘is that snow?’ or we wake up and we say, ‘I’m going skiing!’ It’s just a choice. The power of the mind is just beautiful. And my mind went to a dark place. And so if it can go to a dark place, it can go to a beautiful place too. It can go to the light… My motto is Best Life Ever.”
You can see Shelley Marshall perform at the Full Bawdy Comedy Show, December 7, The Pearl Company; and at Your Good Girl’s Gonna Go Bad, December 21, This Ain’t Hollywood. Watch for Hold Mommy’s Cigarette dates in the new year.